Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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