yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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