I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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