First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
