Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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