Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
