i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
