I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
