I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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