The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
