Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I enjoy the company of your penis
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