I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
