he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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