omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
