I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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