good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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