I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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