i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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