Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
