Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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