is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i think i just naturally attract stoners
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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