I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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