i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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