Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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