the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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