Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
