He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
what is it with giant penises always finding me
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
