He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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