Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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