Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
