you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
