I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
