Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
