i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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