you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
pray to the hookup gods
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
