There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
