i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
