I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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