Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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