Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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