she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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