At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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