you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
