we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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