I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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