I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
