Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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