hotel room ftw
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm at about main and main street
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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