there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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