I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
